hehehe

http://blogs.walkerart.org/offcenter/?p=631

minnesota appoints a poet laureate. (via Neil Gaiman's blog)

some Jack Marx Snark

what the gossip mags don't tell you

i'm not quite sure what this one is mocking, but here's a sample:

Who didn't cry yesterday upon hearing the news that Angelina Jolie's mother had died? Sure, we didn't know Marcheline Bertrand personally. Sure, we wouldn't have been able to pick her out of a police line-up. Sure, I'm ... not really sure of what this third fact we're meant to be "sure" of is supposed to be - I just know that columnists are supposed to have at least three things they and the readers are together "sure" about. Granted, I'm not really a columnist any more than I am in a position to be handing out grants to my readership. But I digress. I also masturbate occasionally, but there's no need for me to tell you about that quite so much as there is a need for digressing columnists to inform readers of their digressions when they occur, lest the readers think they've busted the columnist for something of which he is not already aware. Look, you're not looking and I want you to look at something, in this instance over the page.

(no subject)

Anybody who goes to an art gallery is a wanker, right? There are 3.6million wankers in Australia. Only geeks go to libraries, so this country has 5.4 million geeks. Dance performances are for poofs and fag-hags, and now we know Australia has 1.6 million people like that.

Outside of school projects, you wouldn't go sniffing dust in amuseum unless you were a complete dag. Ring up 3.6 million as thenational dag total. And anybody who has time to go wafting round a botanic garden needs to get a life - advice you must now offer to 5.4million of your compatriots.

A survey released last week by the Bureau of Statistics under the catchy title Attendance at Selected Cultural Venues and Eventschallenges the conventional wisdom that Australia is a land of jocks and slobs. It turns out Australians are wankier, poofier, geekier anddaggier than most of us imagined.

David Dale "Who We Are", Sun Herald,  4/2/07

My Brother The Romantic

What to do when you have so many women, and only one Valentines Day? Many Sydneyites seem to be suffering from this problem- or the inverse, too many men and only one Valentines Day. Valentines Day Cards are purchased in pairs, even threes and fours. At first, i noticed these women and thought 'aha, smart girl- one for you to give to him, and one for him to give to you.'
With the men, somewhat sexistly, i thought 'aha, having a little bit on the side, huh? two little bits on the side?'
I am at a loss, however, to explain the woman who yesterday bought two cards "for my Husband".

Joel has a much more novel solution to this problem. According to mum, he will be swanning into school tomorrow bearing a single red rose (possibly pinched from the bunch dad bought for mum). This rose will then be distributed, petal by petal, to his lady friends.
Having been the occaisional recipient of roses myself over the last few months, and having shredded one of them, i can tell you that a rose has a lot of petals. So, it seems, does Joel.

Very Much Belated Aussie Day Entry

took me a while to get these uploaded.

( On flags. Not dial up friendly, sorry )

(no subject)

Three Cheers for someone who doesn't blame women's problems on men.

But, this being Jane Moore, who is paid to get people hot under the collar, there’s a twist in the tail of her argument. “The biggest conclusion I’ve come to is that we women are doing it to ourselves. And that, as mothers, if we’re constantly on a diet and scrutinising ourselves, why are we surprised when we pass on that neurosis to our daughters? We are the ones who buy these magazines, we’re feeding the business. The pressure isn’t coming from men.”