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highlyeccentric*sighs* Amy the Emotional Roller Coaster back in action... :-S
really need to either start going back to church or find a new one; all this 'yes i'm going, no i can't face it' isn't healthy. I just don't know that i'm getting much out of it... on the other hand, what do i get when i go to New Lambton? a good dose of miserable. And heavens, i spent years feeling ambivalent at best about church at home...
Drives me bonkers that John won't let up about wanting me to move out of college, though. Why is it that no one i know from outside college seems capable of accepting that i actually like it here? I don't remember ever feeling properly secure in my social group before- EC excepted, but that's another matter. Its east to be secure with people who only have to associate with you four days a year.
And as for Will... he's willing to come to sydney to deal with any given Amy Emotional Disaster, but refuses to set foot on college grounds. Firstly, it pisses me off no end that he, who is in many ways closer to me than my best friend, can't acknowledge the place and people i consider home. And secondly, i can't go on living two split lives. Fine, if i don't see people because they're in newie and i'm here. That's a matter of circumstance. But to have to have a novacastrian come down here and avoid the place like the plauge... well, that just reinforces the fact that the two lives are incompatible, which is NOT what i need. Besides the sheer rejection of it- a place like this, people like this become part of your identity.
yeah. in short: amy pissed off. have decided its high time i had a whinge to will about it. suspect it won't make any sense to him, though.
probably in trouble for msging him two days in a row asking to talk, but hey. every OTHER time i msg him he forgets.
owe him a couple of VERY belated apologies, too.
really need to either start going back to church or find a new one; all this 'yes i'm going, no i can't face it' isn't healthy. I just don't know that i'm getting much out of it... on the other hand, what do i get when i go to New Lambton? a good dose of miserable. And heavens, i spent years feeling ambivalent at best about church at home...
Drives me bonkers that John won't let up about wanting me to move out of college, though. Why is it that no one i know from outside college seems capable of accepting that i actually like it here? I don't remember ever feeling properly secure in my social group before- EC excepted, but that's another matter. Its east to be secure with people who only have to associate with you four days a year.
And as for Will... he's willing to come to sydney to deal with any given Amy Emotional Disaster, but refuses to set foot on college grounds. Firstly, it pisses me off no end that he, who is in many ways closer to me than my best friend, can't acknowledge the place and people i consider home. And secondly, i can't go on living two split lives. Fine, if i don't see people because they're in newie and i'm here. That's a matter of circumstance. But to have to have a novacastrian come down here and avoid the place like the plauge... well, that just reinforces the fact that the two lives are incompatible, which is NOT what i need. Besides the sheer rejection of it- a place like this, people like this become part of your identity.
yeah. in short: amy pissed off. have decided its high time i had a whinge to will about it. suspect it won't make any sense to him, though.
probably in trouble for msging him two days in a row asking to talk, but hey. every OTHER time i msg him he forgets.
owe him a couple of VERY belated apologies, too.