College. Weirder Every Day
Oct. 19th, 2008 02:14 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
highlyeccentricSo I'm sitting here calmly writing my thesis, and down the hallway comes first a man's voice, and then a lovely and usually unflappable acquaintance of mine, whom we shall call A.
Says A: What do you do when you're interrupted at one am by a nudy run?
Two male shapes then appear, and proceed into the college library.
Says I: Why are they in the library?
A: They think their clothes are in there.
Me: Are they?
A: I don't know.
Two naked men emerge holding, respectively, shoes and boxers over their private parts. They sit down at my table and make themselves at home.
Says I: How did you get in?
Naked Man One: Someone let us in!
A: Where's the person who let you in now?
Naked Man Two: Oh, she ran off.
At this point, another acquaintance emerges, and A asks her what to do. I suggest calling the RA. Person B suggests calling the principal. Much debate is had, no information can be extracted from the naked men, who do not even know the name of the person who, it turns out, nicked their clothes and ran off.
Says B: Who does that?
Says A: Sounds like fairly standard college girl behaviour to me.
At this point, A orders 'those who have underpants to put them on', and vanishes upstairs to get spare boxer shorts. BOTH naked men now stand up and don their underpants, Naked Man One having produced hitherto unseen undies from his shoes.
Now decently clad, the naked men request permission to eat my camembert cheese, which I give to them, because what can you do when you are having a chat with two strange mostly-naked man at one in the morning? However, they do not eat the cheese, but rather drink about a litre of water from the water tank, and ask me what I'm doing up.
Says I: I have a thesis due. Accordingly, I am up working on it.
Says Naked Man Two: Accordingly. You're using too many linking words.
Me: It's a side effect of writing a thesis. You start wanting to connect your sentences properly.
The Naked Men have another cup of water each. A and B re-appear with boxer shorts which are now unnecessary. A disappears again, and B leans against the wall and has a chat to me about theses, and the bizarrity of naked men. A reappears with C, the RA on duty, who has just been woken up.
Says I: Oh, hi C!
Says A, to the Naked Men, of B, C and I: These three are all writing theses. I was just doing my tax return.
Me: Well, it's not every day you get interrupted by naked man.
Says B: No, happens all the time for A!
A: It doesn't happen often. Sometimes you wish it would...
Says A, to the Naked Men: Do you two have names?
Naked Man One: Oh, yes!
Says A: What are they?
Naked Man One gives his name, and then, after prompting, Naked Man Two's name.
Says B: There's really nothing much we can do for you. And by nothing much I mean nothing at all.
Says A: We can take your numbers and put a message around tomorrow about your missing clothes.
Says B: Hey, Highly, do you remember in O-Week, that girl who tricked the guy into the bathroom on the cruise and stripped him naked and threw his clothes into the harbour?
Says I: I do, she won the Spade for that night. She's not still here, is she?
Says B: I don't remember who it was...
Says I: I don't think she is. So we don't have a serial clothes thief. I think it's more of a communal trait.
Says C: Are you boys from college?
Says Naked Boy One: No!
Says C: Where are you from, then?
Naked Boy Two: Cronulla!
A: How were you planning to get home?
One: Cab. Stay at a girl's house. Something.
A: You still have a wallet in your shoe, don't you?
One: Yes.
A: Well, you're going to have to get a cab home.
One: We can't get a cab dressed like this.
A: You can... Oh.
B: We can order them a taxi.
Two: You can DO that?
B: I will go and order you a taxi.
C: How about we all move out to the foyer, except Amy?
It then took about three minutes for the naked boys to get up, have another drink, and be cajoled into following the others out to the foyer.
Ah, college, how I will miss thee.
Says A: What do you do when you're interrupted at one am by a nudy run?
Two male shapes then appear, and proceed into the college library.
Says I: Why are they in the library?
A: They think their clothes are in there.
Me: Are they?
A: I don't know.
Two naked men emerge holding, respectively, shoes and boxers over their private parts. They sit down at my table and make themselves at home.
Says I: How did you get in?
Naked Man One: Someone let us in!
A: Where's the person who let you in now?
Naked Man Two: Oh, she ran off.
At this point, another acquaintance emerges, and A asks her what to do. I suggest calling the RA. Person B suggests calling the principal. Much debate is had, no information can be extracted from the naked men, who do not even know the name of the person who, it turns out, nicked their clothes and ran off.
Says B: Who does that?
Says A: Sounds like fairly standard college girl behaviour to me.
At this point, A orders 'those who have underpants to put them on', and vanishes upstairs to get spare boxer shorts. BOTH naked men now stand up and don their underpants, Naked Man One having produced hitherto unseen undies from his shoes.
Now decently clad, the naked men request permission to eat my camembert cheese, which I give to them, because what can you do when you are having a chat with two strange mostly-naked man at one in the morning? However, they do not eat the cheese, but rather drink about a litre of water from the water tank, and ask me what I'm doing up.
Says I: I have a thesis due. Accordingly, I am up working on it.
Says Naked Man Two: Accordingly. You're using too many linking words.
Me: It's a side effect of writing a thesis. You start wanting to connect your sentences properly.
The Naked Men have another cup of water each. A and B re-appear with boxer shorts which are now unnecessary. A disappears again, and B leans against the wall and has a chat to me about theses, and the bizarrity of naked men. A reappears with C, the RA on duty, who has just been woken up.
Says I: Oh, hi C!
Says A, to the Naked Men, of B, C and I: These three are all writing theses. I was just doing my tax return.
Me: Well, it's not every day you get interrupted by naked man.
Says B: No, happens all the time for A!
A: It doesn't happen often. Sometimes you wish it would...
Says A, to the Naked Men: Do you two have names?
Naked Man One: Oh, yes!
Says A: What are they?
Naked Man One gives his name, and then, after prompting, Naked Man Two's name.
Says B: There's really nothing much we can do for you. And by nothing much I mean nothing at all.
Says A: We can take your numbers and put a message around tomorrow about your missing clothes.
Says B: Hey, Highly, do you remember in O-Week, that girl who tricked the guy into the bathroom on the cruise and stripped him naked and threw his clothes into the harbour?
Says I: I do, she won the Spade for that night. She's not still here, is she?
Says B: I don't remember who it was...
Says I: I don't think she is. So we don't have a serial clothes thief. I think it's more of a communal trait.
Says C: Are you boys from college?
Says Naked Boy One: No!
Says C: Where are you from, then?
Naked Boy Two: Cronulla!
A: How were you planning to get home?
One: Cab. Stay at a girl's house. Something.
A: You still have a wallet in your shoe, don't you?
One: Yes.
A: Well, you're going to have to get a cab home.
One: We can't get a cab dressed like this.
A: You can... Oh.
B: We can order them a taxi.
Two: You can DO that?
B: I will go and order you a taxi.
C: How about we all move out to the foyer, except Amy?
It then took about three minutes for the naked boys to get up, have another drink, and be cajoled into following the others out to the foyer.
Ah, college, how I will miss thee.
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-18 04:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-19 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-18 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-19 02:32 am (UTC)Also, one is LESS likely to be bothered by drunk men down here than in the dorm wings.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-18 08:58 pm (UTC)... but maybe that's just my kink.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-19 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-18 11:15 pm (UTC)And another thing; I wish I were randomly interrupted by naked men of good nature every once in a while.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-19 02:34 am (UTC)Also, there are few things in the world less attractive than flaccid penis. Why on earth do people feel the need to display them?
no subject
Date: 2008-10-19 04:54 am (UTC)Because there are few things more ballsy than nudey runs? It's a man thing, like pissing on trees and perving on tits (note my use of proper jargon, too!). Plus, there are few things more arousing (to some, at least) than the erect penis, and one cannot achieve erect status without first being flaccid. The flaccid penis is therefore riddled with connotation and innuendo, making it attractive on a deeper level than skin-deep. ... I would say look beneath the skin, but the men in question may not be as clean as they should be.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-19 04:57 am (UTC)*makes face* But then, I think the more clothes a man has on, the better he looks.
Also, objectively speaking, penises look stupid no matter WHAT state they're in.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-19 07:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-19 08:33 am (UTC)