Hark ye: the Kingdom of Kevin is at Hand

[highlyeccentric]

*Howls with mirth* O, go, all ye cynical, and read of the impending apocalypse and its harbingers.

...As the climate change debate runs to new heights of biblical frenzy, all the signs of an imminent catastrophic event are visible to the naked eye right here in Sydney.

Flights of nuns in sturdy sneakers roam the streets.

A plague of iguanas is reported with much fear and wonderment.

In the churches, worshippers gather fervently around the long-dead bones of saints.

...

Naturally, the advance of environmental Armageddon has flushed out a vocal array of prophets.

King among them is St Kevin, whose spotless zeal is the gold standard in environmental crusading, and whose warnings of famine and pestilence are already legend: it is harder for the proprietor of a coal-fired power station to enter the kingdom of Kevin than it is for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle.

St Kevin took himself to Japan this week... At home, Doubting Brendan piped up with something of a contemporary heresy, insisting that there is no use being pure of heart when the rest of the world is still yet to repent... Several people - Malcolm the Inevitable, Greg the Usurped and Julie the Long-Suffering - lined up to explain that Brendan had actually been massively misreported, and was now resting quietly in his tent.

But Doubting Brendan could not be silenced; he kept sneaking out to do press conferences and to confer with his Senate leader, Nick Minchin, the Desert State Denialist.

...

This relationship may account for the circularity and tortuousness for which the teachings of Doubting Brendan have quickly become known. To the goat-herders, he says one thing, to the money-changers another.

Journalists venturing into a Nelson transcript are best advised to lash themselves to something large and heavy first, so as not to disappear permanently into the maelstrom.

But how the orthodoxy has changed in less than a year.

It used to be that anybody advocating unilateral Australian action on climate change, unmatched by corresponding efforts in the developing world, was immediately set upon, denounced, beaten, and cast out into the wilderness.

Just ask the Environment Minister, Peter the Exile, who was nearly stoned to death during last year's election campaign when he said that a Rudd Government would sign up to emissions reductions with or without the rest of the world.

Sources close to the Exile's mountain cave this week would not comment on the irony of this, but took the opportunity to reiterate that the above occasion was the only time the Environment Minister has ever been stoned in his life...

(Annabel Crabbe, SMH Online)


Oh, my. Australian politics isn't normally interesting enough to satirise well... but BWAHAHAHA!

Comments

[highlyeccentric.livejournal.com]

:D brilliant, innit?

[ashen_key]

Oh, it IS.

Even if my sister heard me laughing from the other end of the house.