Over and over studies show that they do only harm, not good. Sigh.
And purity balls are scary. Your dad shouldn't be in charge of your sexuality. That's messed up. That's some creepy sexual weirdness right there. Why not have the mom go? Does a father take his boys to purity balls, too? Or maybe the roles are reversed, and while dad takes the girls, mom takes the boys? See how weird this stuff is?
Oi. I replied to this comment because the same thing happens to me every time I read these kinds of articles -- I get angry.
I think the purity balls are deeply unsettling and really unhealthy, mentally or sexually....somehow. It just seems wrong. I don't think sexual desire should be repressed or channeled into ANYTHING having to do with one's dad. It's an Electra complex waiting to happen.
The in thing in the conservative families at my school was to have Mum give daughter a 'purity ring'- to remind her that she's cosmically engaged to some guy out there... Weird, but less freaky than this stuff.
And less freaky than The Silver Ring Thing, too. Having your mum give you a ring and a Talk and (presumably) a loving example has got to be less unhealthy than having an anonymous donor give you a ring, and a massive company give you a rally and a shouted sermon.
I'd never heard of The Silver Ring Thing until now. That's just ... what is /wrong/ with these people? I thought my family was made up of mostly "good" Catholics, but they don't partake in any of this business.
I suspect the lack of mom is mostly just a conservative-oldschool-sexist thing. Dad's the high priest, or whatever, mom's just a rung up above the kids. And I don't think she'd take the boys, because 1) boys can have sex, it's more of a 'gosh, you boys' sort of thing and 2) because once boys are old enough for sex, there's this 'oh, my little mom needs my protection' thing going on too. It's hard to describe and way more complex than that, but hopefully you know what I mean.
I think it's a gross failure of duty of care... even assuming you think sex before marriage is a sin, wouldn't you want your students well prepared for MARITAL sex? Even assuming you personally oppose sex before marriage, surely you have a duty as a teacher, and quite possibly as a christian mentor, to make sure that those of your students who opt to commit said sin know enough to do the least possible harm to themselves and others?
Bah. It makes me cranky.
Happily, I handed my virginity pledge in blank. Even at twelve, when I had no intention of ever having sex (eew, sex), i was disinclined to go along happily with religious manipulation...
I'm quite sure there is a way, some way, to teach kids about sex, to encourage them to consider abstinence, present your own standpoint to them... without a) depriving them of vital facts and information or b) giving them a sense of shame about sex and their bodies.
I'm not sure WHAT that way is, but I suspect it lies in not dumbing things down- asking children and young people to think, talk, discuss and form judgements rather than simply telling them what the go is.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-04-18 01:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-18 02:32 pm (UTC)And purity balls are scary. Your dad shouldn't be in charge of your sexuality. That's messed up. That's some creepy sexual weirdness right there. Why not have the mom go? Does a father take his boys to purity balls, too? Or maybe the roles are reversed, and while dad takes the girls, mom takes the boys? See how weird this stuff is?
Oi. I replied to this comment because the same thing happens to me every time I read these kinds of articles -- I get angry.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-18 02:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-18 02:42 pm (UTC)The in thing in the conservative families at my school was to have Mum give daughter a 'purity ring'- to remind her that she's cosmically engaged to some guy out there... Weird, but less freaky than this stuff.
And less freaky than The Silver Ring Thing, too. Having your mum give you a ring and a Talk and (presumably) a loving example has got to be less unhealthy than having an anonymous donor give you a ring, and a massive company give you a rally and a shouted sermon.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-18 02:49 pm (UTC)I'd never heard of The Silver Ring Thing until now. That's just ... what is /wrong/ with these people? I thought my family was made up of mostly "good" Catholics, but they don't partake in any of this business.
I suspect the lack of mom is mostly just a conservative-oldschool-sexist thing. Dad's the high priest, or whatever, mom's just a rung up above the kids. And I don't think she'd take the boys, because 1) boys can have sex, it's more of a 'gosh, you boys' sort of thing and 2) because once boys are old enough for sex, there's this 'oh, my little mom needs my protection' thing going on too. It's hard to describe and way more complex than that, but hopefully you know what I mean.
no subject
Date: 2008-04-18 02:40 pm (UTC)Even assuming you personally oppose sex before marriage, surely you have a duty as a teacher, and quite possibly as a christian mentor, to make sure that those of your students who opt to commit said sin know enough to do the least possible harm to themselves and others?
Bah. It makes me cranky.
Happily, I handed my virginity pledge in blank. Even at twelve, when I had no intention of ever having sex (eew, sex), i was disinclined to go along happily with religious manipulation...
no subject
Date: 2008-04-18 02:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-19 02:00 am (UTC)I'm not sure WHAT that way is, but I suspect it lies in not dumbing things down- asking children and young people to think, talk, discuss and form judgements rather than simply telling them what the go is.