oh my fucking god. (sorry, god. you know what i mean)
i don't really care if she wants to blame feminism (well, i do a bit :) ... but is she really saying the problem with their relationship would be fixed if the woman would just lie back and think of england? aka let her husband rape her, just to keep his sex drive in check?? if she doesn't enjoy sex with her husband, if the prospect of it doesn't excite her at all, then how is it going to help to tell her to just give in to him a few times a week?
Does she really want to take out the rubbish in the pouring rain? No, but partners in relationships do such things because they know that it makes the other happy. Sex should be seen in the same light.
I am not advocating submission. I oppose the idea that anyone should feel pressured into sex; I understand that the “sexualisation” of society often puts unnatural expectations on both women and men. I am merely pointing out that sex, as with other parts of a relationship, needs constant care and compromise.
actually, i don't think you *are* "merely pointing out that sex ... needs constant care and compromise"! you are saying that women should "do things [they don't enjoy] because they know that it makes the other happy". i dunno about men, but personally i wouldn't actually be made happy in such a situation. if my partner's not enjoying sex then how am i meant to?
i don't take the rubbish out to make my housemates happy. i take it out because it needs to be done, and because it's fair to share those jobs. you can't apply the same logic to sex: it's not a question of fairness, or a job that has to be done otherwise the house gets infested with rats!
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2007-11-03 03:13 am (UTC)i don't really care if she wants to blame feminism (well, i do a bit :)
... but is she really saying the problem with their relationship would be fixed if the woman would just lie back and think of england? aka let her husband rape her, just to keep his sex drive in check?? if she doesn't enjoy sex with her husband, if the prospect of it doesn't excite her at all, then how is it going to help to tell her to just give in to him a few times a week?
Does she really want to take out the rubbish in the pouring rain? No, but partners in relationships do such things because they know that it makes the other happy. Sex should be seen in the same light.
I am not advocating submission. I oppose the idea that anyone should feel pressured into sex; I understand that the “sexualisation” of society often puts unnatural expectations on both women and men. I am merely pointing out that sex, as with other parts of a relationship, needs constant care and compromise.
actually, i don't think you *are* "merely pointing out that sex ... needs constant care and compromise"! you are saying that women should "do things [they don't enjoy] because they know that it makes the other happy". i dunno about men, but personally i wouldn't actually be made happy in such a situation. if my partner's not enjoying sex then how am i meant to?
i don't take the rubbish out to make my housemates happy. i take it out because it needs to be done, and because it's fair to share those jobs. you can't apply the same logic to sex: it's not a question of fairness, or a job that has to be done otherwise the house gets infested with rats!