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highlyeccentricI did not get the job I wanted at college.
That is ok. I will try to get another, and which will take up less of my precious thesis time.
Speaking of which, the point of this entry: The Arts Office SUCK MAJORLY.
How To Apply for Medieval Studies Honours:
1. Speak to Granddad Lecturer. Say unto him: how do I apply and what courses can i take?
he will say: Get forms. You'll be fine. oh, and the centre is collapsing so there are no classes. Well, there might be some for you. But the centre is collapsing and no one feels my pain.
2. Speak to Student Liason Officer, AKA Awesome. Say unto her: do you know what is going on with honours? Granddad Lecturer thinks it's all falling to pieces.
She will say: It's not falling apart, we have more student interest now than ever. Just get the forms and then we'll talk. Oh, and you should talk to Supervisor Man at some point.
3. Go to Arts Office. Say unto the Desk Crone: I need application forms for honours.
Desk Crone will say: There are no forms. It is all on the computer.
4. Return to Awesome. Say unto her: when you get a chance, can i talk to you about honours? Desk Crone says there are no forms.
Awesome will blink. Awesome will demand that you repeat. When it is clear what Desk Crone has said, Awesome will fluff up, in manner of goose when goslings are threatened. She will utter dire warnings about the Arts Office.
This is a good time to point out that you don't know if you have a major, since Desk Crone has never been able to tell you how things are crosslisted.
Much muttering will ensue.
5. Awesome will pick you up by the scruff of the neck, metaphorically speaking, and carry you back to the Arts Office. She will march up to Desk Crone and say: I'm from the Centre for Medieval Studies and this is my student. We're concerned that her courses haven't been crosslisted. How can we find out?
Desk Crone will say: All the majors are calculated automatically.
Say unto Desk Crone: All of my courses can be crosslisted to history or medieval studies, and most of them to english as well. I want to make sure they go to the right one.
Desk Crone will cast a sideways look at Awesome and then produce a form. Fill in form, requesting to be told if you have enough units for majors of your choice.
Awesome will then say: Now, we need an honours application pack.
Desk Crone will cast her eye around and say: i had some here a moment ago. Let me just go and photocopy a new one.
Desk Crone will give you a pre-enrolement form. Examine it. Show it to Awesome. It doesn't have a space for supervisor signature or CMS approval or any such thing.
Awesome will say: is this really all she needs?
Desk Crone will say: yes, yes.
Awesome: so she puts down the 4000 level medieval shell code, and that's all.
Desk Crone: yes. That's all.
6. Say to Awesome: so. do you know what classes I can take next year?
Awesome will figure this out. She will probably even figure it so that you don't have to take Dante. Nothing will save you from middle english, however.
7. Get letter from uni telling you how to enrol. It notes that honours applicants must enrol on paper, and that the pre-enrolment form should be accompanied by faculty honours applications "where applicable".
8. Get another letter from uni. You have majors. They are in the wrong order, but at least you have them. Fill in corrections to get Medieval Studies listed first.
9. Spend an hour searching the website for an application form mentioned at 7. Find. Email to Awesome and say: does this look applicable to you?
It does. Print. Take to Granddad Lecturer. Say: Have you seen this form before?
He has. He signs.
Fill in form. Wonder whether or not you have to fill in "tertiary qualifications" boxes. Do you have tertiary qualifications? How are you supposed to know the date of graduation when you're not finished yet? Resolve to take to Awesome.
10. Make appointment to speak to Supervisor Man.
11. Wonder who to complain to about Desk Crone. Search website. No luck.
12. Daydream about giving paper at next years AEMA conference.
13. Remember that Granddad Lecturer emailed you forms for Honours Scholarships. Download. Examine. Wonder about all the qualification questions as in 9.
14. Observe that you need a one page personal statement about how fantastic your research is.
15. This means you need a topic. Spend two hours browsing the OEN database to see what has been written about your favourite Bishop, Wulfstan of York.
16. Get distracted by all the awesome things which have been written about him. Contemplate thesis on Satan. Realise that your vague thing about Wulfstan and pagans which might have been relevant at step 12 is a subject area on which only one article has been written. Feel excited.
17. feel worried. How do you know if a topic is big enough to write a thesis on? is it silly to want to do something on a bishop when you've only read 150 lines of his, and you've never studied his particular period or locale?
18. remember that's what step 10 was about.
19. remember you actually have to hand forms in before steps 12-18 have any relevance.
20. realise that worrying about future thesi is in fact elaborate means of avoiding present essay.
I was told by one Lisa Bennet, during AEMA, that academic success is 90% filling in forms. If i cannot even get hold of the forms on my own, what hope is there for me?
That is ok. I will try to get another, and which will take up less of my precious thesis time.
Speaking of which, the point of this entry: The Arts Office SUCK MAJORLY.
How To Apply for Medieval Studies Honours:
1. Speak to Granddad Lecturer. Say unto him: how do I apply and what courses can i take?
he will say: Get forms. You'll be fine. oh, and the centre is collapsing so there are no classes. Well, there might be some for you. But the centre is collapsing and no one feels my pain.
2. Speak to Student Liason Officer, AKA Awesome. Say unto her: do you know what is going on with honours? Granddad Lecturer thinks it's all falling to pieces.
She will say: It's not falling apart, we have more student interest now than ever. Just get the forms and then we'll talk. Oh, and you should talk to Supervisor Man at some point.
3. Go to Arts Office. Say unto the Desk Crone: I need application forms for honours.
Desk Crone will say: There are no forms. It is all on the computer.
4. Return to Awesome. Say unto her: when you get a chance, can i talk to you about honours? Desk Crone says there are no forms.
Awesome will blink. Awesome will demand that you repeat. When it is clear what Desk Crone has said, Awesome will fluff up, in manner of goose when goslings are threatened. She will utter dire warnings about the Arts Office.
This is a good time to point out that you don't know if you have a major, since Desk Crone has never been able to tell you how things are crosslisted.
Much muttering will ensue.
5. Awesome will pick you up by the scruff of the neck, metaphorically speaking, and carry you back to the Arts Office. She will march up to Desk Crone and say: I'm from the Centre for Medieval Studies and this is my student. We're concerned that her courses haven't been crosslisted. How can we find out?
Desk Crone will say: All the majors are calculated automatically.
Say unto Desk Crone: All of my courses can be crosslisted to history or medieval studies, and most of them to english as well. I want to make sure they go to the right one.
Desk Crone will cast a sideways look at Awesome and then produce a form. Fill in form, requesting to be told if you have enough units for majors of your choice.
Awesome will then say: Now, we need an honours application pack.
Desk Crone will cast her eye around and say: i had some here a moment ago. Let me just go and photocopy a new one.
Desk Crone will give you a pre-enrolement form. Examine it. Show it to Awesome. It doesn't have a space for supervisor signature or CMS approval or any such thing.
Awesome will say: is this really all she needs?
Desk Crone will say: yes, yes.
Awesome: so she puts down the 4000 level medieval shell code, and that's all.
Desk Crone: yes. That's all.
6. Say to Awesome: so. do you know what classes I can take next year?
Awesome will figure this out. She will probably even figure it so that you don't have to take Dante. Nothing will save you from middle english, however.
7. Get letter from uni telling you how to enrol. It notes that honours applicants must enrol on paper, and that the pre-enrolment form should be accompanied by faculty honours applications "where applicable".
8. Get another letter from uni. You have majors. They are in the wrong order, but at least you have them. Fill in corrections to get Medieval Studies listed first.
9. Spend an hour searching the website for an application form mentioned at 7. Find. Email to Awesome and say: does this look applicable to you?
It does. Print. Take to Granddad Lecturer. Say: Have you seen this form before?
He has. He signs.
Fill in form. Wonder whether or not you have to fill in "tertiary qualifications" boxes. Do you have tertiary qualifications? How are you supposed to know the date of graduation when you're not finished yet? Resolve to take to Awesome.
10. Make appointment to speak to Supervisor Man.
11. Wonder who to complain to about Desk Crone. Search website. No luck.
12. Daydream about giving paper at next years AEMA conference.
13. Remember that Granddad Lecturer emailed you forms for Honours Scholarships. Download. Examine. Wonder about all the qualification questions as in 9.
14. Observe that you need a one page personal statement about how fantastic your research is.
15. This means you need a topic. Spend two hours browsing the OEN database to see what has been written about your favourite Bishop, Wulfstan of York.
16. Get distracted by all the awesome things which have been written about him. Contemplate thesis on Satan. Realise that your vague thing about Wulfstan and pagans which might have been relevant at step 12 is a subject area on which only one article has been written. Feel excited.
17. feel worried. How do you know if a topic is big enough to write a thesis on? is it silly to want to do something on a bishop when you've only read 150 lines of his, and you've never studied his particular period or locale?
18. remember that's what step 10 was about.
19. remember you actually have to hand forms in before steps 12-18 have any relevance.
20. realise that worrying about future thesi is in fact elaborate means of avoiding present essay.
I was told by one Lisa Bennet, during AEMA, that academic success is 90% filling in forms. If i cannot even get hold of the forms on my own, what hope is there for me?
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no subject
Date: 2007-10-10 01:26 pm (UTC)except for the forms you have to retrieve from the website.
hmm. maybe that's what she meant.