So very confused about now

[highlyeccentric]

my translation sucks.
in the one paragraph i seem to have:

*someone refusing to take any booty
*a man excommunicated with all his clothes
*lesbian nun sex
*the fact that you can't be a maiden again after having lesbian nun sex
*nor will you get a hundredfold increase (of what????)
*so therefore  you should follow Judith's example and hold to Christ in purity.

wtf? WTF?

i think i have something very wrong. i seem to have jumped from narrative (the person not taking the booty was presumably Judith) to moralising, with no causal relationship between.
also, i doubt that i've got the lesbian nun sex right. that would be too cool.

Comments

[goblinpaladin.livejournal.com]

Lesbian nun sex! Wootage!

All I have are crusaders and mercenaries. It's hard to tell the difference.

[tarimanveri.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't help you with the Anglo-Saxon, but I do hope you get your lesbian nun sex!

[highlyeccentric.livejournal.com]

don't we all, don't we all...

[phrasemuffin.livejournal.com]

that would be too cool
have I told you just how much I love you?

some uneducated brain thoughts to maybe confuddle you so more:
- "man excom. with all his clothes"... could be a weird expression/exaggeration/exclamation that's in the wrong word order or something. "I banish you and everything you own, right down to the clothes on your back!"-ish
- "lesbo nun sex"... well, Hildegard & Mary. Remember?
- "virginity clause"... well, that's actually true :P
- "100x Bonus!"... not to slut it up or anything, but "orgasm"?

In my head, those things totally go together. Then again, I don't have the narrative to look at, so I could just be plain stupid.

[highlyeccentric.livejournal.com]

i love you too

[iremos.livejournal.com]

Bahahaha!

[daiskmeliadorn.livejournal.com]

sure, sounds reasonable to me!

so judith refuses to take any booty, a very noble act of hers.

in contrast we have a naughty boy (excommunicated with all his clothes, because now they're soiled, and someone has to do something with them), and a naughty girl (or two). clearly you can't be a maiden again after lesbian nun sex, nor will you get a hundredfold increase of heavenly booty (the only kind that judith is interested in, and incidentally the kind that the naughty boy is clearly not in line for either).

so therefore you should follow judith's example and hold to christ in purity.

--
clearly, my dear eccentric, you are so down with medieval thinking that you don't even realise it.

[highlyeccentric.livejournal.com]

i emailed my teacher to get her to sort it out... and she hasn't done the homework yet, so until she does, i'm allowed to make whatever wild assumptions i please. lesbian nun sex it is!
i think it's lesbian nun sex *orgies*, too. that's where the whole problem lies, you see- lots of plural pronouns.

somehow i would be very surprised if it turns out AElfric even knew what a lesbian *was*, though. Poor ole AElfric, he's a real sweetie but he doesn't have much of a clue.

[daiskmeliadorn.livejournal.com]

ok, sure. i guess we have to conclude, then, that god was speaking directly through aelfric, and aelfric couldn't understand what he himself was saying. a bit like speaking in tongues.

in which case i might need to revise my interpretation, because surely god would be in favour of lesbian nun orgies. so:

judith refuses the man's booty call; he is excommunicated with all his clothes because the church is doing the usual thing where it believes nuns are virgins or whatever and so the man should really not have been messing around with them. meanwhile, back at the convent: judith and the other nuns are getting it on, and god (through our commentator, aelfric) notes ironically that evidently they are no longer virgins/maidens (and of course have not been for some time). that is, god affirms the beauty of the lesbian nun orgy, whilst ridiculing the pope-riarchy for its naive and over-zealous attitudes to sex.

now, the hundredfold increase is a reference to the fact that men/the pope-riarchy think that nuns are nuns because they believe that by living that way of life they are storing up riches in heaven (hundredfold the riches they would have otherwise enjoyed on earth). yet god is revealing to us, through aelfric, that actually religious life is about good old fashions lesbian nun orgies, and so... we should follow judith's example and hold to christ in purity.

Q.E.D.

[daiskmeliadorn.livejournal.com]

'fashions' should be 'fashioned'...

[highlyeccentric.livejournal.com]

heeee.... your powers of logic they impress me!

although part of the problem is that two sentences ago Judith wasn't a nun, but a chaste widow. Although it did say she "lived all her days in purity", maybe that's code for "went into a nunnery and had crazy lesbian sex"

[daiskmeliadorn.livejournal.com]

well, duh...

:)

i hope that when i die, people say that i was a chaste widow who lived all my days in purity...

[highlyeccentric.livejournal.com]

i'll make sure to mention it. and your funeral-goers will look at me funny and wonder when you were married in the first place :P

[daiskmeliadorn.livejournal.com]

yes, i've never told anyone about my shotgun marriage when i was a 16-year-old evangelical christian...

damnit the secret's out!