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What better thing is there to do with a small child than play humorous pranks? No better thing, according to my Dad.
Great Dad pranks of history include:
Ice Cream Topping Extravaganza:
Scene: Uncle R with his nephews, being served bowls of ice cream. There are some fast-food sweet and sour sauce packets lying around
R: Hey kids, you want this on your ice cream?
Kids: Ew, no
R: Really?
Kids: No one puts sweet and sour sauce on ice cream, Uncle R
R: what? You haven't heard of sweet and sour sauce on ice cream?
Kids: Ew, no
R: Really? You really haven't - how have you lived? It's great! You should try it
Kids, wise to his bullshit: No way
R: I mean, sure, I'll have it all for myself *slathers ice cream in mcnugget sauce*
Kids: ... you're really going to eat that?
R: Absolutely! Here, there's a couple of packets left, you try it
Kids: You first
R: *eats bowl, with relish*
Kids: ... I mean. I guess? *add sauce to their bowls*
R: See? It's great
Kids: This is weird, Uncle R
Kids' mother, appearing: what on earth are you boys eating? And WHY?
Kids: UNCLE R SAID IT WAS GOOD
R: I lied
Kids: ohmigoshwhat he LIED how DARE.
Apparently this trick also works on fully-grown airmen, too, and bonus points if the thing is actually a delicacy but not intended to be eaten in that particular context. Apparently he once baffled a restaurant by convincing his workmates to eat all the rose petals out of the finger bowls they were given to clean their fingers in.
Hide and Sneak:
This is probably a fairly common advance on Hide and Sneak, although in my Dad's case probably super-charged by him having, like, actual military Sneaking training. You wait until your kids are familiar enough with the principles of hide and seek to not bother looking in the 'easy' spots first off.
So you hide in an easy spot. Behind a curtain, say. Somewhere fairly close to the Best Spot. You wait until the kids have checked the Best Spot, and then you sneak out and occupy it. Then you wait until you're the last person still hiding, and everyone is going bananas, and then you sneak into another easy spot and wait until they give up, and saunter out going 'I was here all along'.
Also quite good: sneaking into a spot that's higher up than most hiding spots. We once searched for twenty minutes and didn't find him sitting on top of the chest freezer. Mind you, apparently we also once searched for twenty minutes and didn't find him standing quietly behind a door, despite looking multiple times behind the door in question - he was quite good at imitating a coat when necessary. Mum maintains she was monitoring that particular occasion and no sneaking occurred. Just camouflage.
It was a great trial to us that when /we/ tried sneaking it never had the same effect. Dad won by ceasing to sneak, and waiting for the rest of the family to all fail by banging into each other in the hallway while attempting to sneak.
I still don't know how this one works:
But somehow, my father has the amazing ability to win any board game, not instantly, but exactly when the players are becoming fractious and it's time to stop. This makes sense with, say, trivial pursuit: perhaps he pretends not to know things, until it's clear no one else is going to win even with a handicap. Same with Scrabble: obviously he's holding back until the last minute. But with, say, snakes and ladders, it should not be possible to deliberately 'play badly' or to improve one's gameplay. And yet. He can - or could - do this every time. With Snakes and Ladders. With Trouble. With Monopoly. Regardless of the balance of skill to chance, Dad could win the game just in the nick of time before the brattiest child threw a tantrum. (Consequently, my family never had weeks-long monopoly drama.)
Interestingly, he didn't seem to be able to do it with card games. And now he just refuses to play any games at all, so I don't know if he can still do it. It baffled me all my childhood and early adulthood and it continues to baffle me now.
Also there was that time he hung my brother as a toddler from a doorknob by the back of his romper suit. Obviously didn't LEAVE him there, but he did let him kick a bit and go 'EEP'. Dad was also a master of 'put child in the shopping trolley, and when we get to a ramp let it go, and then run after it and catch it before it smacks into something' means of kid-entertainment. Whether this is the greatest game ever or a cruel trick probably depends on the child...
Great Dad pranks of history include:
Ice Cream Topping Extravaganza:
Scene: Uncle R with his nephews, being served bowls of ice cream. There are some fast-food sweet and sour sauce packets lying around
R: Hey kids, you want this on your ice cream?
Kids: Ew, no
R: Really?
Kids: No one puts sweet and sour sauce on ice cream, Uncle R
R: what? You haven't heard of sweet and sour sauce on ice cream?
Kids: Ew, no
R: Really? You really haven't - how have you lived? It's great! You should try it
Kids, wise to his bullshit: No way
R: I mean, sure, I'll have it all for myself *slathers ice cream in mcnugget sauce*
Kids: ... you're really going to eat that?
R: Absolutely! Here, there's a couple of packets left, you try it
Kids: You first
R: *eats bowl, with relish*
Kids: ... I mean. I guess? *add sauce to their bowls*
R: See? It's great
Kids: This is weird, Uncle R
Kids' mother, appearing: what on earth are you boys eating? And WHY?
Kids: UNCLE R SAID IT WAS GOOD
R: I lied
Kids: ohmigoshwhat he LIED how DARE.
Apparently this trick also works on fully-grown airmen, too, and bonus points if the thing is actually a delicacy but not intended to be eaten in that particular context. Apparently he once baffled a restaurant by convincing his workmates to eat all the rose petals out of the finger bowls they were given to clean their fingers in.
Hide and Sneak:
This is probably a fairly common advance on Hide and Sneak, although in my Dad's case probably super-charged by him having, like, actual military Sneaking training. You wait until your kids are familiar enough with the principles of hide and seek to not bother looking in the 'easy' spots first off.
So you hide in an easy spot. Behind a curtain, say. Somewhere fairly close to the Best Spot. You wait until the kids have checked the Best Spot, and then you sneak out and occupy it. Then you wait until you're the last person still hiding, and everyone is going bananas, and then you sneak into another easy spot and wait until they give up, and saunter out going 'I was here all along'.
Also quite good: sneaking into a spot that's higher up than most hiding spots. We once searched for twenty minutes and didn't find him sitting on top of the chest freezer. Mind you, apparently we also once searched for twenty minutes and didn't find him standing quietly behind a door, despite looking multiple times behind the door in question - he was quite good at imitating a coat when necessary. Mum maintains she was monitoring that particular occasion and no sneaking occurred. Just camouflage.
It was a great trial to us that when /we/ tried sneaking it never had the same effect. Dad won by ceasing to sneak, and waiting for the rest of the family to all fail by banging into each other in the hallway while attempting to sneak.
I still don't know how this one works:
But somehow, my father has the amazing ability to win any board game, not instantly, but exactly when the players are becoming fractious and it's time to stop. This makes sense with, say, trivial pursuit: perhaps he pretends not to know things, until it's clear no one else is going to win even with a handicap. Same with Scrabble: obviously he's holding back until the last minute. But with, say, snakes and ladders, it should not be possible to deliberately 'play badly' or to improve one's gameplay. And yet. He can - or could - do this every time. With Snakes and Ladders. With Trouble. With Monopoly. Regardless of the balance of skill to chance, Dad could win the game just in the nick of time before the brattiest child threw a tantrum. (Consequently, my family never had weeks-long monopoly drama.)
Interestingly, he didn't seem to be able to do it with card games. And now he just refuses to play any games at all, so I don't know if he can still do it. It baffled me all my childhood and early adulthood and it continues to baffle me now.
Also there was that time he hung my brother as a toddler from a doorknob by the back of his romper suit. Obviously didn't LEAVE him there, but he did let him kick a bit and go 'EEP'. Dad was also a master of 'put child in the shopping trolley, and when we get to a ramp let it go, and then run after it and catch it before it smacks into something' means of kid-entertainment. Whether this is the greatest game ever or a cruel trick probably depends on the child...