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highlyeccentricI have no one to blame for this except myself.
Dear Lady Reason,
I have a problem. Recently, at a dance, the hostess tried to come on to me, even though I’m not into her like that. When I turned her down she told everyone she thinks I must be gay, which just isn’t fair, because I have a girlfriend!
The problem is, my girlfriend is a fairy and I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone about her. If I keep our relationship a secret she bankrolls my life at court, it’s great! And also she’s really hot - the hottest girlfriend EVER to hot.
So I told them that, and now I have two problems: no one believes me, and my girlfriend isn’t talking to me.
What should I do?
Not In The Closet, Not In Fairyland
Dear Not In The Closet
Ah, yes, your girlfriend who lives in Fairyland. I have no idea why it is people don’t believe you. I mean, really.
I’d say you’ve fucked this one up good and proper, but actually, on the off-chance you’re telling the truth, consider this: maybe you’re better off without the kind of partner who uses financial leverage and secrecy to manipulate you. Just saying.
Sincerely,
Lady Reason.
Citation: Lanval (Marie de France, 12th c French) - Judith Shoaf's translation is here, and Sir Launfal (Thomas of Chester, 14th c English), glossed text here
Dear Lady Reason,
I have a problem. Recently, at a dance, the hostess tried to come on to me, even though I’m not into her like that. When I turned her down she told everyone she thinks I must be gay, which just isn’t fair, because I have a girlfriend!
The problem is, my girlfriend is a fairy and I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone about her. If I keep our relationship a secret she bankrolls my life at court, it’s great! And also she’s really hot - the hottest girlfriend EVER to hot.
So I told them that, and now I have two problems: no one believes me, and my girlfriend isn’t talking to me.
What should I do?
Not In The Closet, Not In Fairyland
Dear Not In The Closet
Ah, yes, your girlfriend who lives in Fairyland. I have no idea why it is people don’t believe you. I mean, really.
I’d say you’ve fucked this one up good and proper, but actually, on the off-chance you’re telling the truth, consider this: maybe you’re better off without the kind of partner who uses financial leverage and secrecy to manipulate you. Just saying.
Sincerely,
Lady Reason.
Citation: Lanval (Marie de France, 12th c French) - Judith Shoaf's translation is here, and Sir Launfal (Thomas of Chester, 14th c English), glossed text here