Reasons Lancelot isn't where he ought to be: a list

[highlyeccentric]

* He is, but he’s in disguise

* He was injured due to fighting his friends and relations while in disguise

* He was in such a hurry to get to where he was supposed to be that he lost his sword along the way, and is too ashamed to show up

* He got in a boat with a dead girl and they floated so far down the river they got lost

* He had a fight with Guinevere

* Bors had a proxy fight with Guinevere on Lancelot’s behalf

* Guinevere had a proxy fight with all Lancelot's relatives, and they're all banned from court

* Gawain, being a complete numbskull and apparently the only person in England unaware of Lancelot's undying passion for Guinevere, misconstrued the Astolat situation, and then told Guinevere about it, leading to Guinevere having a fight with Lancelot and/or all his relatives

* He went mad and forgot he’s Lancelot

* He killed all his horses in his haste to get to where he ought to be, and is now late

* He fell out a window while perving on Guinevere

* He’s having a sleepover with a hermit

* He was on his way home from the sleepover with the hermit and he got shot in the butt by a lady out hunting

* He fell into a pit

* He’s stuck in a tower and there’s a princess with an axe who won’t let him out until he gives her a kiss

* He disappeared suddenly, ‘as he was wont to do’

* He did any of the above things and people assumed he just disappeared suddenly, ‘as he was wont to do’