The Tale of Maurice, the Educated Rodent
May. 16th, 2006 11:27 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
highlyeccentricMy family is currently possessed (and obssessed) by an Educated Rodent. So Educated, in fact, that he recognises rat traps for the puny weapons they are, and is not taken in.
He goes quiet for a while, just waiting. Mum will start hoping he's gone and leave some food out to check. and then.... WOLLA! there is a rat once more.
Weekend before last, Joel was up till all hours of the night watching the Chaser and whatever else he does late at night. And suddenly he became aware that he was not alone. No. Maurice was out to play.
So what does Joel do? Why, brave and heroic lad that he is, he follows Maurice into the laundry. There he finds a great weapon- an old broom. So there was joel, and the broom, chasing Maurice the Rat around the house at two in the morning. But Maurice is too Educated for this kind of shennanigans- he will not be caught by rat traps and he will not be brained by brooms.
LAST weekend Dad found the gap in the wall from whence he comes forth. So what does one do, having found the rat's bolthole? Why, he goes out and buys a tube of Silastic and Silastics the hole up. But this was inferior quality Silastic he purchased, and it refused to set.
He stuffed wire in all the drain pipes, hoping that Maurice might be caught between the wire and the Silastic, and could then be safely rat-baited without danger to native critters or pussy cats.
But all in vain. Maurice the Rat is still rampaging around out house. Update this morning tells me that he was out last night, chewed up the linoleum in the kitchen and then ATE JOEL'S SCHOOLBAG (which joel will be happy about, since he's been begging for a new bag for some time).
So. Mum has gone to the Rural Produce Dealer to see if he can produce some Educated Rat Traps or something of the sort.
No one has considered the possibility of an alliance between Joel and Maurice- forged while frolicking at two am- to the effect that Joel would get a new schoolbag and Maurice would be warned of new rat traps.
He goes quiet for a while, just waiting. Mum will start hoping he's gone and leave some food out to check. and then.... WOLLA! there is a rat once more.
Weekend before last, Joel was up till all hours of the night watching the Chaser and whatever else he does late at night. And suddenly he became aware that he was not alone. No. Maurice was out to play.
So what does Joel do? Why, brave and heroic lad that he is, he follows Maurice into the laundry. There he finds a great weapon- an old broom. So there was joel, and the broom, chasing Maurice the Rat around the house at two in the morning. But Maurice is too Educated for this kind of shennanigans- he will not be caught by rat traps and he will not be brained by brooms.
LAST weekend Dad found the gap in the wall from whence he comes forth. So what does one do, having found the rat's bolthole? Why, he goes out and buys a tube of Silastic and Silastics the hole up. But this was inferior quality Silastic he purchased, and it refused to set.
He stuffed wire in all the drain pipes, hoping that Maurice might be caught between the wire and the Silastic, and could then be safely rat-baited without danger to native critters or pussy cats.
But all in vain. Maurice the Rat is still rampaging around out house. Update this morning tells me that he was out last night, chewed up the linoleum in the kitchen and then ATE JOEL'S SCHOOLBAG (which joel will be happy about, since he's been begging for a new bag for some time).
So. Mum has gone to the Rural Produce Dealer to see if he can produce some Educated Rat Traps or something of the sort.
No one has considered the possibility of an alliance between Joel and Maurice- forged while frolicking at two am- to the effect that Joel would get a new schoolbag and Maurice would be warned of new rat traps.