101 uses for a UCATSA Bag
Dec. 24th, 2005 10:05 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
highlyeccentric<37: Santa Stocking.
what with me being of marriagable age and all, mum seems to have decided that it's time to give me helpful advice.
This evening:
*amy walks into the loungeroom*
amy: Joel! Fulfil your purpose in life and remove my jewellery! *joel removes bracelet*
mum: that's what you need a husband for
amy: ah, i knew they had to have a practical purpose somewhere.
mum: *sniggers slightly*
amy: however, i really think a husband would be a bit inconvenient. I move around a lot.... plus I don't think I could fit one in my room.
mum: *sniggers again*
amy: i don't have enough space in my wardrobe as it is.
mum: i think your husband will expect to be somewhere else.
amy: you mean I can't keep a husband in the wardrobe?
mum: no. you know, theres something a man expects if he's your husband.
amy: *thinks about this for a bit*. Don't tell me- they want space in the sock drawer too!
and the other day:
*amy and mum sitting at the table, discussing the Aunty Pam, who never lets her hubby see her without makeup*
amy: well, maybe she just read one too many magazines. I read one once that said you shouldn't shave your legs or pluck your eyebrows in front of a man.
mum: whyever not?
amy: apparently you have to 'preserve the allure', pretend it all happened naturally.
mum: one of the girls at work was saying she never gets changed in front of her husband, reckons it preserves that something. sounds a bit silly to me.
amy: *shrugs*
mum: mind you, you ought to remember that if a man sees a naked body he wants to touch it. so if you want to preserve any kind of ownership of your body, it might not be a bad habit to get into from the start.
amy: thanks mum.
dunno who she thinks i'm about to marry. and how she thinks they're going to get past Tock.
hmm... Xmas Eve went off OK... i stuffed it up in one place, forgot a hymn and had to go back... We only had about ten people, which was a bit disapointing. Roger had put out extra chairs for the morning, so in fine church tradition everyone sat in the back two rows. Only had three kids, which was more disapointing.
We really need a new nativity set. Babe's getting a bit dilapidated (that's the one I got injured with), and besides, what good Jewish stable has a pig and a sheepdog in it?
The stable roof is falling apart, too. Which is only fair, given that it's just a bit of cardboard. Have you any idea how hard it is to balance a sheet of cardboard, folded to a point, on the top of a pulpit?
Hope the minsiter doesn't mind us hijacking his pulpit. Lyn and Nancy never minded, but then they were wonderous and this bloke is not.
Note to self: before next Christmas, give Jesus a bath. She's getting a bit dirty. It's probably been eight years since I had a doll-bathing day. Teddies probably need a good scrub, too.
My Jesus gets a much better deal than the real one. She gets cradle and everything, 'cos mangers are in short supply in my dolls equipment. Tis a good cradle, too. My Daddy made it for me. Not for ME, really, i had an heirloom cot, but for my dolls.
Hah, appropriate music change: Arrogant Worms, 'Jesus' Brother Bob'
Mum made white chocolate Rocky Road. 'Tis good. And she made Toni's cake :D:D:D:D. She's bored with it. How can one EVER get bored of Toni's cake?
Remind me to put the recipe up and share it with you guys... I'll take a pic too, methinks.
Okeedokey... I oughta go to bed now... I could sneak out and look in my stocking, Santa didn't leave it very late to visit us this year. But I suspect it's a teatowel again.
It was bloody hot today. Jean reckoned it was the hottest december day since they started keeping records. They've taken half of the Sydney metropolitan fire brigade and shipped them off to the outer suburbs, Newie, Woolongong and the mountains. It was prime fire weather today, we might well not have Sue and Tahn for lunch tomorrow 'cos of fires. Should make sure Sue comes up to the church and takes some of our food if she's called up for catering, we've got loads.
I hate bushfire season. Why is it that I move back to the bush right at the beginning of it, and go away again when it's finished? Something does not add up here.
Having said that, we've not had a fire in ten years living here. Which i call ominous.
k darlings, goodnight.
what with me being of marriagable age and all, mum seems to have decided that it's time to give me helpful advice.
This evening:
*amy walks into the loungeroom*
amy: Joel! Fulfil your purpose in life and remove my jewellery! *joel removes bracelet*
mum: that's what you need a husband for
amy: ah, i knew they had to have a practical purpose somewhere.
mum: *sniggers slightly*
amy: however, i really think a husband would be a bit inconvenient. I move around a lot.... plus I don't think I could fit one in my room.
mum: *sniggers again*
amy: i don't have enough space in my wardrobe as it is.
mum: i think your husband will expect to be somewhere else.
amy: you mean I can't keep a husband in the wardrobe?
mum: no. you know, theres something a man expects if he's your husband.
amy: *thinks about this for a bit*. Don't tell me- they want space in the sock drawer too!
and the other day:
*amy and mum sitting at the table, discussing the Aunty Pam, who never lets her hubby see her without makeup*
amy: well, maybe she just read one too many magazines. I read one once that said you shouldn't shave your legs or pluck your eyebrows in front of a man.
mum: whyever not?
amy: apparently you have to 'preserve the allure', pretend it all happened naturally.
mum: one of the girls at work was saying she never gets changed in front of her husband, reckons it preserves that something. sounds a bit silly to me.
amy: *shrugs*
mum: mind you, you ought to remember that if a man sees a naked body he wants to touch it. so if you want to preserve any kind of ownership of your body, it might not be a bad habit to get into from the start.
amy: thanks mum.
dunno who she thinks i'm about to marry. and how she thinks they're going to get past Tock.
hmm... Xmas Eve went off OK... i stuffed it up in one place, forgot a hymn and had to go back... We only had about ten people, which was a bit disapointing. Roger had put out extra chairs for the morning, so in fine church tradition everyone sat in the back two rows. Only had three kids, which was more disapointing.
We really need a new nativity set. Babe's getting a bit dilapidated (that's the one I got injured with), and besides, what good Jewish stable has a pig and a sheepdog in it?
The stable roof is falling apart, too. Which is only fair, given that it's just a bit of cardboard. Have you any idea how hard it is to balance a sheet of cardboard, folded to a point, on the top of a pulpit?
Hope the minsiter doesn't mind us hijacking his pulpit. Lyn and Nancy never minded, but then they were wonderous and this bloke is not.
Note to self: before next Christmas, give Jesus a bath. She's getting a bit dirty. It's probably been eight years since I had a doll-bathing day. Teddies probably need a good scrub, too.
My Jesus gets a much better deal than the real one. She gets cradle and everything, 'cos mangers are in short supply in my dolls equipment. Tis a good cradle, too. My Daddy made it for me. Not for ME, really, i had an heirloom cot, but for my dolls.
Hah, appropriate music change: Arrogant Worms, 'Jesus' Brother Bob'
Mum made white chocolate Rocky Road. 'Tis good. And she made Toni's cake :D:D:D:D. She's bored with it. How can one EVER get bored of Toni's cake?
Remind me to put the recipe up and share it with you guys... I'll take a pic too, methinks.
Okeedokey... I oughta go to bed now... I could sneak out and look in my stocking, Santa didn't leave it very late to visit us this year. But I suspect it's a teatowel again.
It was bloody hot today. Jean reckoned it was the hottest december day since they started keeping records. They've taken half of the Sydney metropolitan fire brigade and shipped them off to the outer suburbs, Newie, Woolongong and the mountains. It was prime fire weather today, we might well not have Sue and Tahn for lunch tomorrow 'cos of fires. Should make sure Sue comes up to the church and takes some of our food if she's called up for catering, we've got loads.
I hate bushfire season. Why is it that I move back to the bush right at the beginning of it, and go away again when it's finished? Something does not add up here.
Having said that, we've not had a fire in ten years living here. Which i call ominous.
k darlings, goodnight.
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Date: 2005-12-26 04:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-26 10:42 am (UTC)four banners, whoo hoo!
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Date: 2005-12-27 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-12-27 06:33 am (UTC)