You've kind of struck on the head one of the things I struggle with with this whole making friends business. I have very intense, deep friendships online-- for 6 years, those were my only friends who lasted more than a few months with me.
Now I'm doing this college thing and I've made some friends who are good for hanging out with but I can't tell them anything about me. I enjoy hanging out with them a lot, I really do, but it leaves me dissatisfied and miserable that I don't have the deepness that I have with the people online who are my best friends and know stuff about me that really defines me but is too strange to tell people who don't have experiences vaguely similar to my own. The whole "intense friendships" thing sort of became what I thought was the model of good friendships, and I can't seem to replicate it.
Come August though, I'll be heading out, and probably go alone, that is, without anyone I know now going to the same university with me. I'm not anticipating having to make new friends... because I hate being the new kid on the block, and I'll be coming into an established circle of people, which has always been a recipe for disaster for me.
The whole "internet friends" thing just has somehow always been easier for me. I'm more like the friends I'm geographically distant to.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2009-02-15 05:46 pm (UTC)Now I'm doing this college thing and I've made some friends who are good for hanging out with but I can't tell them anything about me. I enjoy hanging out with them a lot, I really do, but it leaves me dissatisfied and miserable that I don't have the deepness that I have with the people online who are my best friends and know stuff about me that really defines me but is too strange to tell people who don't have experiences vaguely similar to my own. The whole "intense friendships" thing sort of became what I thought was the model of good friendships, and I can't seem to replicate it.
Come August though, I'll be heading out, and probably go alone, that is, without anyone I know now going to the same university with me. I'm not anticipating having to make new friends... because I hate being the new kid on the block, and I'll be coming into an established circle of people, which has always been a recipe for disaster for me.
The whole "internet friends" thing just has somehow always been easier for me. I'm more like the friends I'm geographically distant to.