Re: demographics... hmm. I think the fact that there’s a demographic skew in that particular place toward polyamory doesn’t necessarily invalidate his criticism of the method and tone used to complain. In places where the balance goes the other way, polyamorous people who complain that all their tindr matches are monogamists get a certain amount of leeway for venting but then get rightly pulled up: you’re not entitled to someone just because tindr matched you, and you need to do the work to find your own target market, not sit around whining about how dare the monogamists.
I remain genuinely surprised that there’s so little overlap between polyamorous discussions and ace community ones. I had a sense that there was a lot of recognized common ground, about a decade ago, but the two conversations now seem to be happening on completely different planets. I know individuals in the venn overlap, but the meta conversations seem utterly divorced. And when they do bump into each other the results seem more hostile than productive. (I have learned, for instance, to be very cautious discussing polyamory around people who id as demisexual - the odds of being castigated as sex-driven and unable to understand any of their experiences are WAY higher than I would have expected.)
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2019-02-26 09:08 am (UTC)I remain genuinely surprised that there’s so little overlap between polyamorous discussions and ace community ones. I had a sense that there was a lot of recognized common ground, about a decade ago, but the two conversations now seem to be happening on completely different planets. I know individuals in the venn overlap, but the meta conversations seem utterly divorced. And when they do bump into each other the results seem more hostile than productive. (I have learned, for instance, to be very cautious discussing polyamory around people who id as demisexual - the odds of being castigated as sex-driven and unable to understand any of their experiences are WAY higher than I would have expected.)