HAPPY HOGSWATCH SOMMEILLE!

And the rest of you. But sommeille is all by her ownsome in gay Paris, and therefore deserves SPECIAL HOGSWATCH GREETINGS!

I am drunk. K is not here to keep me from hurting myself. I just fell up the stairs with an arm full of clothes, and nearly knocked myself out on the slate floor. I yelped, and by the time my brother and father appeared I was half-sitting up and looking very bemused. I am now subject to much family ridicule.

ALSO WHY THE FUCK AM I WRITING A YULETIDE TREAT?

... because I cannot let this prompt go unanswered.

Not at all like my Christmas...

Þis kyng lay at Camylot vpon Krystmasse
With mony luflych lorde, ledez of Þe best,
Rekenly of Þe Rounde Table all Þo rich breÞer,
With rych reuel oryȝt and rechles merÞes.
Þer tournayed tulkes by tymez ful mony,
Justed full jolilé Þise gentyle knightes,
For þer þe fest watz ilyche ful fiften dayes,
With alle þe mete and þe mirþe þat men couþe avyse;
Such glaum ande gle glorious to here,
Dere dyn vpon day, daunsyng on nyȝtes,
Al watz hap vpon heȝe in hallez and chambrez
With lordez and ladies, as leuest him þoȝt.
With lordez and ladies, as leuest him þoȝt.
Þe most kyd knyȝtez vnder Krystes seluen,
And þe louelokkest ladies þat euer lif haden,
And he þe comlokest kyng þat þe court haldes;
For al watz þis fayre folk in her first age,
on sille,
Þe hapnest vnder heuen,
Kyng hyȝest mon of wylle;
Hit were now gret nye to neuen
So hardy a here on hille.

May your Christmas be full of feasting, revelry, and phallic symbols! The Gawain-poet recommends all of the above!