We are funny people, we are

Those who know kayloulee  will have already seen this on your flists, but here we go again:

K: I am of the belief that caramel is of the devil. I believe that if there is ever proven to be a devil, that he (or it, I suppose it'd be it) would be made of caramel, and swim in caramel.

Whereupon says I, taking a large and suggestive bite of my Snickers bar: I would be willing to perform upon a caramel devil a good many of the acts described in the Malleus Maleficarum and quite a few acts which are not.

*K dies of laughter*

K: THAT MEANS THAT THE DEVIL WOULD BE SHAPED LIKE A JELLYBABY!

Me: I don't care what shape he is, but if he's as cold as the devil is supposed to be in early witchhunting literature, then that wouldn't be good, because cold caramel just breaks your teeth.

K: But the devil would not be made of Werthers Original or Fantales, because I like those.

Me: I don't like Werthers or Fantales, could I please have a Caramello devil.

K: A devil koala!

Me: I'm not going to get into chocolate devilish bestiality!

K: But it's a candy, not a creature!

A conversation in GChat status...

eggs_maledict : Dear Latin: Eeeeeverybody hates you. Including people you haven't met. Please feel free to go cry in a corner, lonely and unloved.

 

goblinpaladin : Dear Eggs: You made me cry, I'm a telling my mummy on you.
highlyeccentric : Dear Latin: You don't have a mummy.
goblinpaladin : Dear Highly: I DO SO. AND ALSO SHE LOVES ME THE MUCHEST. Sincerely, Latin.
highlyeccentric : Dear Latin: My Supervisor says your mummy, Proto-Indo-European, didn't exist. So NER. Sincerely, your Germanic would-be-nephew-if-you-had-a-mummy.
goblinpaladin : Dear Highly: Proto Indo-European is EVERYONE's mummy. I am descended from...umm... Etruscan? I DON'T KNOW MY MUMMY. BOO-HOO-HOO. I am all ALONE in the world. Sincerely, Latin.
highlyeccentric : Dear Latin: Sorry about your mummy. We refuse to admit relation to you. Sincerely, the descendants of Proto-Germanic.
highlyeccentric : Dear Latin: I made a mistake. Frankish is my true love. I wish I could go back and divorce you. Sincerely, French.
goblinpaladin : Dear French: That is okay. You never treated me right anyway- you threw away my inflexions and what you did to my pronunciation was just awful. Also, I never loved you anyway. Sincerely, Latin.

And now I realised I missed the opportunity to make etymological 'I wish I could quit you' jokes.