Hildegard of Bingen, Wisdom Of- Or, Masturbation in the Middle Ages

My dear friend Pixie sent me this juicy quote during StuVac (I like JUICE, she says. it helps to keep the colds away):

"Those who, driven by lust, cast out their semen like asses will contract red eyes and thick skin around the eyes and suffer from weakness of the eyes. Whoever performs this act with moderation and discipline will not damage and weaken his eyes very much." - Hildegard of Bingen, C12th

As far as I can tell, this means: "It be true. An excess of wanking maketh thou blind. Therefore, wanketh thou in moderation."
Pretty open minded, coming from a nun. Maybe she'd be a fan of SDMN? That involves "discipline."

Sex- articles thereon

I was amused and intruiged by this opinion piece by Caitlan Moran in the Times Online some months back now.

For those who haven’t immediately guessed – or perhaps don’t want to – youporn is like YouTube, but with sex instead of “amusing” footage of cats. In a nutshell, it’s where normal people post footage of themselves having sex. It’s couples in Brazil mucking around on the sofa; wobbly Russians having “special snuggles” in the kitchen; three people in Italy not realising that their framing is hopelessly out, and committing to cyberspace the tops of their heads, engaged in who knows what. It’s enthusiastic, shambolic and real – a bit like an erotic Why Don’t You?, but without so many recipes for Coke floats.

... while all the bondage DVDs cost just £14.99, and are available at the click of a button, before youporn, what was really quite difficult to find was two people who loved each other – or, at the very least, actually wanted to have sex with each other – having a shag.

I like youporn. I think it’s a good role model for the sexually naive. Most porn is junk sex, made on an industrial scale, in porn factories. What I think we all need is ethical, homemade, organic porn. Real porn. Slow porn. The kind of porn Jamie Oliver would make a programme about.

The real novelty of youporn, however, is the power of the whole thing. You can see real, fidgety, impatient lust. There are big arses with a gravitas to them; tits that need to be gathered up in handfuls, rather than just sitting there on someone’s chest like snow-globes; people who get excited just stroking each other’s arms. This is more squirmy and fluid and squeezy and sensual than staged pretend porn, with its unreal people and unreal scenarios, and palpable air of disinfectant and clock-watching.

Quite why anyone would post on youporn, however, is another question entirely. I’d like to think that it was the work of uxorious, enlightened, feminist libertines on a mission to change mankind’s opinions on sex, love and pornography.

Does it make it any less beautiful if, in all likelihood, it’s posted by lunatic ex-lovers trying to ruin former partners’ chances of promotions within the Civil Service?

*shrugs* I've no idea why anyone would put nice, stupid normal sex up on the internet, but it strikes me as kinda cool to devote a whole site to it.
Although if "youporn" is really as sweet and wholesome as Caitlan Moran describes it, somehow it seems wrong to me that people go and watch it. Voyeuristic. Like tresspassing somehow. (which, come to think of it, is what i used to think about blogging and blogreading. go figure)

(note to my father, who reads this blog: be not afraid! If i ever do develop a desire to examine youporn, i shan't do it while on your internet)

Geglængede mid golde and mid purpuran

So, I went a bit burko this semester. One of the reasons for this was the essay I wrote on AElfric's homily on Judith.¹ It was less fun than Anglo-Saxon essays usually are, and goblinpaladin and the Wife had to nurse me through it.
As some warped sort of celebration, I decided to go to iremos's Halloween party dressed as Judith herself.

Accordingly, I decked myself out with gold and purple, although more of the latter than the former. AElfric assures us that all of this dressing-up was for no galnesse, a lovely word which means anything from silliness to lust. I can assure you that I was not at all lustful, although possibly those looking at me were (snot my fault the dress has a slit higher than an anglo-catholic liturgy). AElfric may have Disapproved. Possibly my intention to wear this dress was responsible for my fevered dreams about AElfrician chastity.

( you know you've spent too much time studying, when you go to parties dressed as your essays )

also featuring in this photo are goblinpaladin and iremos, both looking rather silly and unaware that the photo was being taken.
I did have a balloon, which i decorated ineptly as the Head of Holofernes, but I lost him.

1. That link will take you to S.D. Lee's online edition. Much good may it do you, since no translation is available. Awesome, I believe, is working on one.