teeth are expensive

David, I have another Campaign for you. The Take the Tooth Fairy to the ACA campaign.
No, seriously. She's ripping us off something major.
1. She doesn't price fairly. Some customers she pays dollars per tooth- others, cents. The discrepancies cannot be explained away by size or tooth quality. I happen to know my teeth were freeking enourmous, and i only ever recieved two dollars maximum- and my last lot of baby teeth, removed in the chair at 16, earnt me nothing! nothing! whereas my brother, then 13, earnt two dollars for each forcible tooth removal. My first baby teeth earnt me twenty cents apiece- friends with teeth obviously inferior, since they fell out earlier, recived dollars from the day dot!
2. Even at her most generous, she doesn't pay a fair price for teeth. No really. Consider the time we put into growing these teeth, and the vast sums which go into maintaining them until such time as she deigns to purchase them from us. I paid- or rather, my mother paid- two hundred dollars for my dentist visit today. Childhood denist visits ranged between thirty and seventy dollars a pop- twice a year. Is a measly two dollars fair renumeration for our product, viz, teeth? I think not. The Tooth Fairy is swindling us something shocking.
3. What's more, she's unrelaible and unpunctual. Sometimes we'd wait days for her to remove our teeth, and then not so much as an apology note! Whether or my mother may have neglected to unlock the top balcony door is irrelevant. That's hardly an excuse, she's a magical creature for heaven's sake!

For The Information of the Confused: David Hay has declared April to be Campaign Month, a month for nonsensical campaigns. Find out more & read some of last year's campaigns at http://lepsdavid.livejournal.com/24306.html