Strong Verbs Are Just Better

Dear Internets: I am very fond of you, and the interesting things you do with the English language. Emoticons, for example: far from a blight upon the page, I find them a most useful addition to text-based communication.

As I'm sure you know, O Internets, there are strict rules of English punctuation. Some of them, such as those governing the relationship of punctuation marks in series, can be a matter for heated debate.

So I must ask you: in a well-constructed sentence, shall the smiley face be placed before, or after, the full stop? If one places a smiley face inside of a parenthetical statement at the end of a sentence, how does one deal with the resulting overdose of punctuation (your sentence will look like this :))?

Please deliver a rule at once, the ambiguity is causing me distress :(. (?)

Yours,

Amy

#1: Anonymous, for 'Timetable: 423, Kingsgrove to City'

Anonymous' sparkling creative efforts have hitherto been sadly unappreciated by the community of Sydney. In this stunning comic fiction, Anonymous' biting satire will have you in fits. The bright, easy-to-read format of 'Timetable: 423' cleverly mocks the convoluted ways of the Kingsgrove route; the weather-beaten but ultimately competent figure of a bus driver belies the chaos of public transport.
From witty parody, we move to the surrealism of the timetable itself. Strings of numbers, bearing no relation to reality, beg the question: is there such a thing as reality at all? Are we not all lost, standing drenched at a bus-stop, in a universe of meaningless numbers?