A conversation in GChat status...

[highlyeccentric]

eggs_maledict : Dear Latin: Eeeeeverybody hates you. Including people you haven't met. Please feel free to go cry in a corner, lonely and unloved.

 

goblinpaladin : Dear Eggs: You made me cry, I'm a telling my mummy on you.
highlyeccentric : Dear Latin: You don't have a mummy.
goblinpaladin : Dear Highly: I DO SO. AND ALSO SHE LOVES ME THE MUCHEST. Sincerely, Latin.
highlyeccentric : Dear Latin: My Supervisor says your mummy, Proto-Indo-European, didn't exist. So NER. Sincerely, your Germanic would-be-nephew-if-you-had-a-mummy.
goblinpaladin : Dear Highly: Proto Indo-European is EVERYONE's mummy. I am descended from...umm... Etruscan? I DON'T KNOW MY MUMMY. BOO-HOO-HOO. I am all ALONE in the world. Sincerely, Latin.
highlyeccentric : Dear Latin: Sorry about your mummy. We refuse to admit relation to you. Sincerely, the descendants of Proto-Germanic.
highlyeccentric : Dear Latin: I made a mistake. Frankish is my true love. I wish I could go back and divorce you. Sincerely, French.
goblinpaladin : Dear French: That is okay. You never treated me right anyway- you threw away my inflexions and what you did to my pronunciation was just awful. Also, I never loved you anyway. Sincerely, Latin.

And now I realised I missed the opportunity to make etymological 'I wish I could quit you' jokes.