meneltarma: black and white image of Rudolf Nureyev sitting on a car (historical: dress to impress)
meneltarma ([personal profile] meneltarma) wrote in [personal profile] highlyeccentric 2019-02-25 10:02 pm (UTC)

Aside the content of the thread of self: so that's where Wilson got to. I followed him a decade ago and then he vanished. I ... have some disagreements about his take on polyamory as a poly-romantic person and I think he's seriously misrepresenting the DC-area specific (we both live here) complaint of "why are all the gays poly" if you are a monogamous person on a dating app looking for a single partner to date because you are VASTLY out-ratioed and it isn't bitterness, it's a literally empty fishpond when 7/10 of bi or queer matches that come up for you will be someone looking for a secondary, and you're looking to be someone's primary or only partner. That's both a literal question: why is the dating scene so small? Where do I go instead? And a legitimate frustration: where are all the single queers? How the HELL do I meet them if they aren't around?

I want to chew on the thread and linked thread and come back to it to make sure I am understand his other points correctly, but... I strongly suspect my sense of being in a matrix of mutually supportive and loving relationships is specific and unique to /both me and my partner being ace-spectrum/ (but then again, the changes in the definition of being ace make me grumpy) and how, then, I have and choose to define concepts like "fidelity", "being honest", "commitment", and even "romantic feelings" and "romantic friendship". In the MOST EXPANSIVE sense of my network of relationships, my biological sister does as much labor-in-the-caring-of-me (and we, my husband and I, of her) as a romantic partner, and Gchat's canned auto-answers clearly indicate the algorithm thinks we're dating, it's indistinguishable from the exterior except that we're siblings.

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