ahhh yeah that one is a nest of worms that I try not to engage with from any direction - I've had people straight up tell me that polyamory is, ipso facto, ableist, because people have care needs (me:... no one said YOU needed to be polyamorous, my pal?), and then there's the 'no one shall ever need anything from anyone' camp and i rarely see anyone have a sensible conversation about it, so I've trained myself to glide over if at all possible